🧠 UNDERSTANDING
“Understanding is deeper than knowledge. There are many people who know you, but very few who understand you.” – Nicolas Sparks
Understanding is the bridge between minds, the soft light that says, “I see you, even in the parts that don’t make sense yet.” For ADHDers—who are often misunderstood or mislabeled—understanding is not just a value; it’s a healing force.
ADHD brains are wired differently: fast, nonlinear, emotional, sometimes chaotic. When people seek to “correct” rather than understand, it can lead to shame, isolation, or self-rejection. But understanding—real, patient, curious understanding—says: “Let’s look closer, not harder.”
Living this value means asking questions, listening with empathy, and being open to nuance. For ADHDers, it also means self-understanding—not just reading the diagnosis, but recognising patterns, knowing your needs, and learning how to support yourself in ways that actually work.
Understanding isn’t about excusing harm or avoiding accountability. It’s about making sense of your actions so you can move forward with clarity. And it works both ways—offering it to yourself and others deepens connection, compassion, and change.
🧭 The HOPE Trail Map
- Helps or Harms: Am I seeking to understand—or just jumping to conclusions?
- Own My Values: I want to be someone who chooses curiosity over criticism—with others and with myself.
- People and Pursuits: Who truly tries to understand me? What situations bring out my own deeper understanding of others?
- Enact and Evaluate: Today, I’ll take a breath before judging—and ask: “What might be going on underneath this?”
⚠️ Trail Challenges
- Fast thinking can lead to assumptions instead of empathy.
- Emotional dysregulation may block curiosity in moments of stress.
- ADHDers may be used to being misunderstood, and stop seeking to explain.
🪧 Trail Markers: Small Steps Toward Understanding
- Ask one open-ended question in a conversation today.
- Write down a moment when you misunderstood yourself—and what you’ve since learned.
- Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “What’s happening here?”
🔥 Campfire Questions for Reflection
- When have I felt deeply understood—and what made that possible?
- What do I most want others to understand about my ADHD?
- How can I offer myself more understanding instead of blame?
Understanding doesn’t always solve—but it always softens. It creates space to grow, to reconnect, and to be seen without shrinking.
