⚖️ FAIRNESS
“Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same. Fairness means everyone gets what they need.” – Rick Riordan
Fairness is the part of the trail where we pause, look around, and ask: Is this working for everyone? For people with ADHD—who often feel like we’re carrying an extra backpack just to keep up—fairness is not about equal treatment. It’s about equitable opportunity.
So much of ADHD life has felt unfair: being judged on systems that weren’t made for us, working twice as hard for half the recognition, being misunderstood for how we feel or move or learn. This value invites us to stop pretending the playing field is level—and start advocating for adjustments that make it more so.
Fairness also teaches us to look beyond ourselves. We know how powerful it is when someone makes space for our needs without judgment. So we do the same for others—offering patience, curiosity, and support where it’s needed, not just where it’s convenient.
Living with fairness means refusing to stay silent when something’s off-balance. It also means offering ourselves compassion when we’ve internalized the belief that we should “just try harder.” Fairness lets us say: “Actually, I needed something different. And that’s okay.”
🧭 The HOPE Trail Map
- Helps or Harms: Am I treating myself with the same fairness I offer others—or am I holding myself to harsher standards?
- Own My Values: I want to be someone who stands for equity—not only for others, but for myself.
- People and Pursuits: Who supports fairness, not just familiarity? What goals matter more when I stop pretending everything’s “fine”?
- Enact and Evaluate: Today, I’ll advocate for fairness—by adjusting expectations, naming needs, or standing up for someone else.
⚠️ Trail Challenges
- Internalized shame may stop us from asking for support.
- Comparing ourselves to others can distort our view of what’s fair.
- Systems often reward those who “fit,” not those who need.
🪧 Trail Markers: Small Steps Toward Fairness
- Reframe: “I’m not asking for special treatment—I’m asking for what helps me thrive.”
- Challenge a self-imposed “rule” that’s rooted in comparison.
- Offer grace to someone whose needs show up differently from yours.
🔥 Campfire Questions for Reflection
- Where have I been unfair to myself—expecting performance without support?
- What does fairness look like in my life when I remove comparison?
- How can I help others feel like the trail is wide enough for them too?
Fairness is not everyone walking the same path. It’s ensuring the trail has bridges, ramps, pauses, and support—so no one gets left behind.
